I(21M) male lost my virginity to my cousin's wife(36F)

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So. It was early lockdown back in 2020 March. My cousin is oldest child of our generation and I'm a single child. My parents were out of station. My cousin is a businessman, was out of station too. We live in nuclear family and due to lockdown we all got stuck. I was at my cousin's place with his wife. They were 15yrs married then. She is a amazing person. I always had a crush on her. Since I'm youngest in family she occasionally flirts with me. (fast forwarding) she was hyper active sexually and I told her I had a crush on her for a long long time. After this few incidents went too far on name of flirt. I hesitated/ignored ofcourse But eventually I confessed I still have crush on her I was underage for drinking but still we decided we will have drinks and I was time with vodka till late night we were talking about each other we both were drunk and it was then i came to know she is hyper active sexually. And while talking we simply lay down on bed and then went to sleep.... I woke up soon saw her right on my chest I knew whats going on but I didn't resist. I felt really bad and good at the same time. Best thing next morning we both act like nothing happened. She was simply serving me breakfast and..... All day went normal... I was so confused... It was dinner time I I asked her about last night... And we did that again... Till my cousin came home(after 3 months). I slept with her multiple times. Its been almost two yrs but I am still feeling really bad. I don't know about her but I feel I cheated on my brother. Me and she still meet every wknd. I am just shocked how the fuck.... She act so normal... ... I still feel guilty about that...

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