Hi all. Please excuse how stupid this story got. I wanted to explore what would happen if sex in the workplace was allowed, and it got silly. Stupid even. I meant to make it into a grim story of exploitation, instead I just trotted out a bunch of tired stereotypes I’ve seen on Reddit. Some very sexist, some sort of sexist, some mildly sexist.
The main character is Cheryl. Imagine her however you want to, I am sure you have seen at least one porno where a hot blonde wears a button-up white shirt, a short skirt and has glasses while working in an office.
The year is 2045, and since 2035 workplace harassment laws have been suspended. Bosses can have sex with employees, and employees are allowed to fuck their manager to get promoted. When the law was passed the Republican Party tried to frame it as a way to eliminate the Gender Wage Gap by allowing women to capitalize on their unique assets to advance in the workplace. Because of course years of institutionalized misogyny can be eliminated by pussy.
Cheryl turned into the parking lot and parked near the entrance, she was early enough to get a good spot. She walked into the office and greeted the security guard at the front. The security guard smiled and greeted Cheryl back. Cheryl would never admit to this, but she found the guard hot. The guard uniform covered her body well, but her large breasts above her thin waist her evident, and she kept her hair in a tight ponytail. A good look. If Cheryl ever had to be tackled by security she wanted it to be this guard.
When Cheryl got to her cubicle she got settled in, and started her work. She had a lot of TPS reports to do, and her boss wanted her to use a new memo cover page. But her work kept getting interrupted by co-workers coming to say good morning. It seemed like every women in the company had to walk around talking to each other. Every morning. Back when Cheryl worked in male-dominated environments guys didn’t do that, they’d just walk down the hall and do the single nod, at most.
You see, for years now most workplaces were only male or only female. The law had the opposite effect than intended. When women realized their male superiors expected pussy, they quit en masse and formed competing companies. Cheryl hadn’t had a male co-worker for seven years, and she had done well at work despite never fucking anyone to get ahead.
At 2pm Cheryl went to her boss’s office to get the quarterly expense report signed. When she got there the door was closed, and Jen’s secretary wasn’t at his desk. Cheryl looked around for Hunter but couldn’t find him. He was the only male (calling him a man was wrong, he was over 18 but failed to meet any criteria for manhood) at the company, Jen had insisted on having a male secretary. So Cheryl sat down in one of the cheap faux-leather chairs by the window overlooking the roof of the mezzanine to wait.
A few minutes later Jen’s office door opened, and Hunter came out, adjusting his belt. He saw Cheryl waiting and looked a bit shocked. “Oh, are you here to see Jen? Is it 2 already?” he went to his computer and checked the calendar, pretending that everything was normal. Jen came out of the office, looking flushed and satisfied. “I’m sorry for making you wait, Cheryl. Hunter was giving me my annual performance review and…I mean, I was performing his anal review…no, I was giving him his annual performance review and it went overtime. He has performed very, very well this year. Come on in.” Cheryl went into Jen’s office and tried to not breathe through her nose. Jen signed the reports, as expected. Nobody doesn’t sign expense reports.
At 4 Cheryl left. She was actually supposed to finish at 5, but she found that if she booked a customer meeting at 4 once a week nobody called her out on it. She didn’t have external customers, but it worked anyhow. Before going to her car she went to the men’s room to get ready for her next step. She usually used the men’s room because it was clean and unused, there was a hover-pisser in the area and the women’s room stunk like piss. Hunter might come in, but that was fine, he was used to seeing unclothed women at work. At least he was used to seeing Jen unclothed. Cheryl hiked up her dress, pulled her panties aside, lubed up her butthole with the lube from her purse and slid a buttplug in. Then she pulled her skirt down and went to her car. On the way out she said goodbye to the security guard, and tensed her butthole around the plug when the guard said goodbye back. It wasn’t the same as letting the guard bend her over the welcome desk and finger her butt, but it was enough to keep the fantasy going. Cheyrl hadn’t yet figured out why the guard was fingering her in the fantasy, she was struggling to complete the fantasy.
Ten minutes later Cheryl was pulling into the strip club parking lot. She went to the door and showed the bouncer her ID, then entered. She looked around to see who was in that afternoon. On the left stage she saw Chad doing the dishes, so she went over and sat by the rail. He was standing by the stage sink scrubbing some dried chicken skin-grease off a glass pan. His muscles rippled as he rubbed the steel wool over the grease, and Cheryl wondered what it would feel like if he rubbed her. Once she’d gotten a good view she tucked a $100 (thanks inflation) into his thong and went to the next stage.
Oh, right. I should explain this as well. When women set up rival companies it created good employment opportunities for women, and most strippers got better jobs. There still were women in sex work because it is legitimate work, but they had sex with customers in the privacy of homes, not shaking their tits at creeps in dingy clubs. But the opposite happened to men. Turns out the women-run companies were, in most cases, better, even if the women spent a lot of time gossiping, changing their tampons or going home early to cry. Women can actually work and do a good job, especially if they get listened to and get good opportunities. Men pretended to be better workers. But they also wasted time, watching porn on company computers, jacking off in the bathroom, or finding excuses to walk behind the new hire who wore tight pants and heels. This is referring to the guys who tried to work. Some just showed up in a suit, did nothing until they got fired, then blamed the company for hiring women at 89% of the market rate, as if that is why they got fired for sheer incompetency.
So a lot of men who used to be employed in so-called good office jobs ended up in female-oriented strip clubs, doing activities that turn women on while wearing thongs. Not all men, just the ones over six feet. It was so common for above average but still not good enough guys to fail at sex work that the government had to create a separate stream of Unemployment Insurance for failed sex workers. The men had to go to a social services office to get their height, chin angle, intermolar width, muscle-fat ratio, penis length, girth, volume, curve, penile artery flow, semen volume, ejaculate distance and butt firmness measured to prove they were eligible for the "can’t do sex work" insurance. The requirements originally included the ability to perform a prostate orgasm, but to many guys ended up homeless because they wouldn’t take a finger up their butt. It didn’t matter that 97% of unemployment insurance agents were women, apparently the male butthole is inviolable.
Except for one guy who came to the social services office forty-five times for a prostate orgasm test. There is always that one guy. He stopped coming (double entendre!) after his favourite agent transferred and was replaced by Steve.
Cheryl went to the middle stage, where Blackjack was changing a diaper on a realistic doll. One of the many changes in the stripping industry was the shift from female stripper names like Stardust and Princess to manly stripper names. Once he had the diaper on he walked back and forth rocking the doll to sleep. A lot of the ladies watching him looked ready to propose, but the good dad fantasy wasn’t Cheryl’s thing, even if he had a good ass. So she went to the right stage, where she hit gold.
Battleaxe was sitting at a computer, doing his daily accounting with his bank account and his investments. Cheryl sat by the rail, watching him check NASDAQ, oil prices, the dollar-to-Euro conversion rate and then run some Excel spreadsheets with compound interest formulas.
Oh God, she was getting hot. She could feel a mild heat building up in her pussy, her nipples were hard, and she was slightly panting. She wanted to bang this rich fucker and claim him for her own. So when he was done his performance she waved a stack of $500s at him to get his attention, she wasn’t the only golddigger turned on by him. She was lucky, and he took her to the VIP room.
When they got there she grabbed him by the hair and threw him on the bed, then strapped him into the restraints and ripped his thong off. She hiked up her skirt and dropped her overheated pussy on his already hard dick. Viagra 2.0 was wonderful, it helped male sex workers get hard whenever needed. It was like a light switch. Cheryl began to ride Battleaxe hard, rubbing her clit onto the glass pearls that were sub-dermally implanted under his pubic skin.
You see, this was another unintended effect of the Republican law to allow sex in the workplace, it meant strippers could fuck customers. It was funny, once upon a time the Republican Party was the party of family values. But the second Trump presidency wrecked that and turned it into the pussy-grabbing party. It started with the Hot Eastern European Model Citizenship Act and went downhill from there. The Democrats weren’t much better, the Laptop Privacy Act sent that party down a dark path. That’s democracy for you, you pick from two bad options and call yourself informed. Not all bills passed, fortunately. Trump had some legislation was shot down by Congress and resulted in the fifth failed impeachment of Trump.
But Cheryl wasn’t thinking about politics. She was busy slapping Battleaxe while grinding on him, demanding he pay child support and alimony. At first Battleaxe pretended to refuse and insisted he had just wanted some fun with no commitment, but finally he caved and begged to fork over 25% of his post-tax income to support a kid he never wanted and never saw. When Cheryl heard that she exploded and came on his hard dick.
She kept going at a slower pace, until Battleaxe blew his load deep in her pussy. Thanks to medical advances STDs no longer existed, so condoms didn’t exist outside of the Smithsonian Sex Museum. Cheryl collapsed on his chest breathing hard. She lay for a few seconds waiting for the romantic part where he stroked her hair and thanked her for wrecking his finances for the next 18 years, until she remembered he was tied down. So she got off, thanked him, and tucked the money under his sweaty ballsack. He smiled and told her she could sue him for support any time. She liked that. She knew he was faking and just saying that for her money, but it was nice to fantasize that a guy wanted to give her money. She smiled back and twisted his nipple and left, she figured the bouncer could untie him.
Cheryl went back to the main room, but watching guys fix a leaky faucet or watch TV without constantly changing the channel wasn’t the same once she’d cum. So she went home, she still had time to make a healthy and nutritious meal using locally-sourced food picked by ethically compensated citizens using recipes that were consensually imported from non-western cultures without committing cultural appropriation. After the meal she was horny again, so she took an orgasm pill and watched reruns of Brooklyn 99 until she had a body-shaking orgasm fantasizing of getting arrested by Terry and Rosa. Honestly, sometimes she wondered why she bothered with strippers or masturbation when orgasm pills existed.
After she went to bed she remembered she still had the butt plug in, but she figured she’d leave it. If she got to work tomorrow with it still in and the lube was dry she might have to ask Hunter to help her remove it. He wanted to get a better role in the company and was trying to find ways to show initiative. Maybe while he was taking it out he could give Cheryl an anal review. And if he failed maybe they could ask the security guard to help.
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